Onwards
by WS.Blue
Summary: They thought life in the university could be just as fun, but a band can't exist without its bassist and drummer. Years later, Mugi, Yui and Azusa try to reunite the lost friendship.
1. Wishing on a dream that seems far off

**Chapter 1: ****Wishing on a dream that seems far off**

_Tokyo, December 2007_

A Christmas tune played through the coarse PA system, by all means for a good reason, Christmas was coming, but there were still a few who remained in school, who elected to stay behind during the holiday season for a reason or another, among those was a girl, who was running down the hall with her Elizabeth on her back. She paid no heed to the music, nor the fleeting glimpse of a fellow student who happened to be there, waving or greeting. Her mind was in a turmoil, but her goal was clear, coming up to the familiar door, she unintentionally gave too much strength to it, slamming the door open. Her name was already on her lips, though she did not realise that she had nothing to say after that.

"Ritsu!"

A quick sweep around the tiny room was all she needed to conclude that her friend was not in, but she nevertheless sought to look for the missing bandmate under and behind impossible places, from inside the wardrobe to under the desk, until someone walked up to her from behind.

"Mio?" an amused voice piped up.

Mio jerked in surprise and banged her head against the bottom of the desk. Paying no heed to the minor bump on the head, Mio quickly turned to grab the girl with a wet towel over her head by the shoulders, who was apparent that the girl had just returned from a shower, and proceed to yell at her, "What are you doing? Why aren't you dressed? We got to go!"

"Ho, ho?" Ritsu grinned with a crooked smile, and easily got out of Mio's grasp. "Anxious about the 'live' concert? I know you just can't wait for it," she teased as she continued to dry her hair with a towel.

"Yes! No! And we got to go."

It would be their first 'live' performance outside the university school ground since their admission to the Japan Women's University, though Ritsu knew clearly this alone would cause the usual Mio to panic, she understood her friend well enough to know that was not the real reason. Planting her fingers over Mio's chin, Ritsu cocked the head aside, forcing the panicky girl to face the clock on the wall.

"We still have six hours, Akiyama Mio."

"I know that…" Mio meekly replied with a hint of embarrassment in her voice, followed by a swift brush of her hand at Ritsu's hand.

"I'll humour you just this once, just let me dress in peace, and we will get there early and rot before the entrance while waiting for the place to open."

Now somewhat calmed down, Mio sat quietly on the bed, staring blankly at the wall while her childhood friend changed from the casual tee and shorts, thinking how fast time had passed for them, already their first semester was gone just like that, and in days, school would be resuming again. Though the four girls had ended up in different faculties, they still met frequently for practises and of course tea, but for now, only the two of them were in the dorm, Yui's parents wanted her to stay home for the Christmas week and would meet them at the 'live' house, while Mugi disappeared somewhere, saying that she would meet them there as well. Finishing the outfit with a jacket, Ritsu picked up the keys and left the room, but in no time, returned to fetch the stoned-looking Mio.

Arriving at the car park where Ritsu's scooter was parked, Mio got on without her usual protests about the safety or her riding skills, neither did she say anything when Ritsu gently slid the helmet down her head. Hopping onto the bike herself, Ritsu found reassurance when Mio's arms automatically wrapped themselves around her waist. Patting the hands once, Ritsu turned the key, bringing the motor to a beastly growl.

The journey was relatively peaceful, at least until Ritsu brought up the topic that had been troubling Mio all day long.

"Don't worry about the scout…"

And with that, Mio roared back to life, "So it's true that a talent scout will be there?!" Mio's exaggerated reaction almost swayed the bike out of the amateur rider's control.

"It's only a rumour."

Mio calmed down a little, seeking comfort with her words. "It's only a rumour," she repeated as if to hypnotise herself into believing it. "It's not like we are good enough to be scouted anyway. Also, we should be focusing on our studies first."

A brief silence was introduced by what Mio said, it took Ritsu a while to remind herself that she was driving, and should not let her thoughts wandered about foolishly. Picking the conversation up where it stopped, Ritsu said, "Mio, do you remember our dream to play at the Budokan?"

"Of course I do, every time we play music together I'm reminded of it."

"Then… if we can get a talent agency's attention, won't that give us the boost we need? Right?"

"You can't think that way, Ritsu. Going 'pro' is a guaranteed way, but we should take things slow, what is more important is experience. And don't forget that we haven't even got the chance to play at the summer festival that Sawako-sensei brought us to last year. We still have years to go at the university, let's make that our target, Ritsu. At the end of our university life, let's play there."

"You're right, let's just play to our best," Ritsu said after a pause. As troubled as Mio was, she could tell that Ritsu was not convinced, and that she was bothered over something, just as Mio was about to ask Ritsu what was she worrying about, Ritsu soon cut in and distracted her with. "Then at least sing for us for tonight's performance."

"What? Ritsu, that's not funny, I've had enough singing to last me a lifetime. With all those eyes on me, I'm not going through that again."

"We will be facing a larger crowd sooner or later, this is the experience you need, Mio."

The discussion sank back into silence, which Ritsu took as a hint that her friend was actually considering it, but on the contrary, Mio was mulling over Ritsu's words. Something had been bothering Ritsu for a while, Mio knew it the moment she saw it, when she asked, Ritsu would usually just laugh it off as if it was nothing, but Mio knew she was lying. Though they'd known each other for a long time and seldom kept secrets from one another, Mio could not deny that university life was slowly pulling them apart. She wished she knows what was in Ritsu's mind, and decided that she ought to talk to her after the concert, or the first thing tomorrow. Trying to drown her worries away, she started humming the new song that they would be playing later; this was soon joined by Ritsu's whistle.

Mio closed her eyes and rested her head against the back of the shorter girl, though she was not that much higher than the drummer, she still had to arch her back just to lay her head down, it was not entirely comfortable, but she did not choose to sit like that for comfort. The night was fair, the traffic smooth, and the traffic light was in their favour, but the truck crossing at the intersection did not slow down or stop for them. Something bright came shining into Mio's closed eyes, then all went black.

**x**

_Tokyo, December 2012_

Had it not for the complaining arching neck, Akiyama Mio was sure she could sleep through the night napping on her office desk. Mio remained where she was with her head still on her folded arms, trying to think back to the dream she had, though she could not recall a single part of it, somehow it felt important, but it also brought along a gloomy feeling she could not shake free. Finally deciding that it was probably something not worth wasting her brain cells remembering for, she drowsily went back up to a sitting position, swinging her arms back to give herself a stretch and a hearty yawn, and almost choked herself upon realising that she was not alone in the office. Over the desk was the familiar face with short messy hair and a friendly look, whom she greeted the man sleepily, "Isshi, what time is it?"

A peek at the clock on the wall gave her the answer at the same time Isshi replied with a smile, "Almost twelve, Miss Workaholic."

"Ahh… I'm so sorry, that will be the last time, I swear," Mio said apologetically when she remembered why he was here. She was late for their date, by no means the first time either. Burying herself in work was something she had gotten custom to, but it was him who reminded her that there were more in life than just success, position and money. She quickly straightened the documents and turned off the computer, and was about to get her winter overcoat when a pair of strong hands caught her shoulders, gently guiding her back towards the windows. The hands slid down to cup her right hand, and started massaging her tiny fingers, a practice Mio got used to, but could not help getting annoyed every time he did that, placing his priority on her fingers rather than herself.

"It's snowing again," he stated in a matter-of-a-fact tone, reporting the status of the world to a girl who had lost contact with it. "And I've also bought some food along, solely based on the assumption that you overlooked the importance of dinner again."

The thought of hunger never came to her mind, and she found herself leaning against the larger body of his instead, it was comfortable and warm, and more important, she found security and assurance with it; he was someone she could depend on, someone who would not leave her. Just when she thought this could last forever, he abruptly shoved her aside.

"Forgot something," Isshi hastily explained, and ran over to switch off the lights.

Just in time for the first flare of the fireworks over the city landscape of towers and skyscrapers, whirling around to face the sight, she could not believe she'd forgotten about the fireworks, the reason he asked her out in the first place. In the distance, fireworks appeared in many shapes and colours, though they could not hear it, it was just as good as being there.

"If there's one thing I like about your office, other than the security guard who always let me in if I bribe him with some snacks, it's the terrific view it has over the city. Merry Christmas, Mio," Isshi said as he slowly moved to join her. Wrapping one arm over her waist, his other hand found his way to hold Mio's left hand. Bringing his face close to hers, he whispered into her ear, "I wish you weren't late, because this kind of screwed up my plan for the night, but I will go ahead with it anyway. Akiyama Mio, will you marry me?"

* * *

><p><strong>The story is being told through two timelines.<strong>

**Next chapter: Mugi makes the call**


	2. Run the bluff and call the shots

**Chapter 2: Run the bluff and call the shots**

_Tokyo, December 2007_

There was a little known talent agency around this area, though not related to the Kotobuki family in any way; it was still a ridiculously easy task for Mugi to persuade them to send a talent scout just by dropping the 'Kotobuki' name on them. She could not wait to see the surprise on their faces, though to be honest, she was more looking forward to Mio's reaction. Arriving early just to check on the band line-up, and arranging the time the scout should arrive, she received two calls that night, the first was from Yui, informing her that she might be late because she forgot to bring Gitah, a little mishap, but everything was still going according to plan. The second call was from Ritsu, no words came through the line, but Mugi could clearly hear the sobs and siren.

"Ricchan! What happened?" she yelled, surprising the people around her.

Mugi was again greeted by the disturbing silence, until the girl on the other end picked up the courage to speak, "We are going to the hospital, Mio's hurt."

Other than asking for the hospital where they were heading, Mugi was drawing a blank as to what to do, and neither was Ritsu in the state of being able to clearly explain what had happened. Even after Ritsu ended the call, Mugi continued to press the phone hard against the ear, hoping that someone would tell her that it was a joke.

Bringing the phone down, she pressed the speed dial, and ran up the stairs, back to the street. She hailed a taxi, and it came at the same instant Yui picked up the call. She tried to explain to Yui what she knew while at the same time directing the driver to bring her to the hospital, as expected, Yui initially acted as if it was a joke, but soon fired a lot of nonsensical questions that she could not answer. Unable to handle all the questions, Mugi was forced to hang up the call without warning, and switched to messaging mode to send over the hospital name and address to Yui just in case she missed it. For the rest of the journey, Mugi tried Ritsu's and Mio's numbers, neither picked up.

Arriving at the nurse station, the staff behind the counter confirmed with Mugi the admission of Mio and Ritsu, but were also unable to provide anything else. There was no entry for the ward they were in, either they had no need for hospitalisation, or their beds had not been allocated for them yet, the nurse explained. Logically 'no need for hospitalisation' would be good news, but Mugi could not stop fearing for the worst. She had no one to talk to, nowhere to go except to loiter in the lobby, and the doctor-in-charge was unreachable as well, whom the nurse promised would get back to her once he was found.

'_Where is Yui-chan?!'_ Mugi screamed at herself; she desperately needed someone by her side _now_. By chance, she spotted a girl with dishevelled brown hair walking down the corridor with a slight limp, something which could be easily explained by the few plasters on her knees and legs.

"Ricchan!" Mugi called, and Ritsu looked up with an empty gaze. Her hair was a mess and let down, and her trademark yellow hairband was missing, Mugi could barely recognise the usually cheerful girl, in her place was a ghost of her former self.

Running up to the girl, Mugi did a quick examination and could see nothing serious other than the new plasters on her limbs and one on the forehead, but she looked terribly pale, and her eyes and nose were red from crying. Fearing that it might hurt, Mugi carefully held onto Ritsu's hands with utmost care, she wondered if it was alright to hug her.

"Ricchan, how are you? What happened? Where's Mio-chan?"

"Elizabeth broke," was her answer.

"Ricchan, please don't scare me?"

Breaking free from Mugi's hold, Ritsu used one hand to cover her eyes, hiding the re-emerging tears. "Sorry, I wasn't making any sense there… Mio-chan is still in surgery, I broke her fingers."

Grasping onto Ritsu's hands, Mugi pled with her to make some sense, but she could not offer much.

"I'm going to check with the nurse to see how it is going, please wait here by the seats, wait for Yui-chan, she's on her way."

A slight nod was what she received from Ritsu, Mugi moved away with doubts in her, wondering if it was alright to leave her alone. Approaching the counter again, she asked for an update, the now-annoyed nurse checked the computer once more, and the raised brows told Mugi that she'd learnt something new.

"There's an update that an emergency surgery is being performed now," the nurse read from the screen.

"Is she alright? When can I see her?"

"It's past visiting hours, miss."

"Please don't give me that, I just want to understand the situation."

"May I know your relationship with the patient?"

"Friend, best friend."

Ignoring her remark, the nurse continued and explained that the next of kin had already been informed.

"At least tell me what was the surgery for, and how badly hurt is she?"

"I'm unable to tell you how bad her injury was, that would require a doctor's judgement, but from the record, the surgery was for repairing tendons."

Mugi sighed, and left the counter after thanking the nurse, something she felt was largely undeserved, she wished that her family owned the hospital, so that she could fire that imbecile nurse. First 'fingers', now 'tendons', neither sounds good to her. So distracted was her train of thought that she did not notice the person who was literally throwing herself at her.

"Mugi-chan!" Yui cried. "Why are you here?"

Mugi understood what she meant, by Yui's logic, in the unlikely scenario that Yui could not find any of friends in this hospital, it could only mean that it was a lousy joke or a bad dream, but the truth could not get any further with all four of them now gathered in one hospital instead of the 'live' house where should be having the time of their life. Returning the bear hug with pats on the head like a mother would to soothe a crying child, she said, "Let's go back to Ricchan, we can talk there."

"Ricchan's here? I didn't see her, is she alright?"

"That's impossible, the lobby is just between the entrance and this nurse station, there's no way you could have missed her…"

Retracing their way back in quick steps, and sure enough, Ritsu was gone; a quick check with the janitor mopping the floor confirmed that a girl who matched her appearance left soon after Mugi disappeared around the corner to find the nurses.

**x**

_Tokyo, December 2012_

'After Hours Tea Time' was the name Kotobuki Tsumugi chose for the café, both as a reminder to the time she enjoyed back during high school, and also as a solemn vow to herself to reunite the band. Unlike the time at the school, Mugi had a lot less freedom and choices in life now that her parents viewed her as an adult. Either she had to get married, or she had to take over one venue to manage as part of her training, she chose this failing high class restaurant, and turned it into something else, now a popular hangout place for teenagers and young adults. What attracted them were the snacks, cakes, teas and occasional piano performance by herself or a part-timer she hired when she was busy, in fact, anyone could approach the glossy white grand piano, the only rule was that they must not chase away any existing customers with their music.

"Mugi?" a waitress in casual attire called.

'Mugi' was the only acceptable name she allowed her staff to call her, and joked about firing anyone who called her by her last name or her full first name, but somehow she feared that a few of her staff treated the threat seriously.

"Hmm, is anything the matter, Akane?" she answered with her eyes closed, lost in her own music, her fingers danced like winds over the keys, bringing marvellous music with it.

"He's here," she whispered in return, holding the serving platter over her mouth as if she could be any less suspicious.

"Nice, treat him just like any other customer, don't let him become aware of the fact that we know who he is," Mugi said while continuing playing.

Their guest for today was a famous food critic, who also wrote articles in several magazines, he was known to be rather harsh but fair in his reviews, and his blog was widely read. Of course, his appearance was by no means an accident, Mugi had spent quite a lot of effort in dropping hints to lure him here. This was her battle plan, and she was confident that she had already won the battle before it even started.

Moments later, Akane returned with, "Mugi? Your mobile is ringing."

"Hmm… please answer it for me, and ask him to wait, I want to finish this piece," Mugi mumbled with a smile on her face. Just before the waitress left her side, Mugi had a feeling she was going to regret not answering the call, and asked, "What's his name?"

"She said her name is Akiyama Mio."

Though they met often, it was never through Mio's initiative, for Mio to call her by her own discretion… Abruptly ending the music halfway with an accidental sharp off note, she snatched the phone from Akane's hand, from the corner of the eye, she could see the critic frowning, thinking to herself, '_Oh well.'_

Retreating back to the kitchen, she held a hand over the receiver of her mobile, mostly to hide her excitement of receiving a call from Mio.

"Mio-chan!" Mugi screamed as quietly as possible.

Mugi's eyes widened as Mio explained to her the situation.

"Congratulation! Can't say I'm surprised after all these years with him, but still after so long of not meeting up, and you just bombed me with news of you getting married? Oh, of course, I can supply the treats and teas. I can tell you which hotel is under my family… no? I can't possibly charge you for these, you are my friend! Ahh… okay, if you insist on paying… But I _will_ give you a discount, no, I _insist_. Mio-chan… congratulations."

Mugi ended the call with a smile on her face, Isshi was a nice fellow, she had met him several times back when Mio was still in the hospital, and a few times after when Mio brought him here. Seeing Akane walking by, she quickly called out to her, "Tell the costumers everything is free of charge until closing."

"Huh? But he has already left…"

"Who? Oh, it's okay, I'm in good mood, hmm, maybe I can set it free for tomorrow as well…"

"Mugi! We can't operate a business like this."

"Fine…" Mugi mumbled disappointedly, sometimes she swore that Akane was a spy sent by her parents to ensure her business went nicely.

Akane walked off with a puzzled look on her face, leaving behind their boss, who though carried a smile, was not feeling exactly very happy about the news. Mugi had wanted Mio and Ritsu to be friends again, though she had never set a deadline for this, the moment she heard that Mio was getting married, Mugi realised years passed by so easily, and she had barely done anything to reunite the two.

Ever since Mio's hospitalisation, all had changed, in that very instance, they lost their bassist, and unexpectedly, their drummer as well. While in school, Mio publicly accepted everything that happened to her, and talked about music _when_ spoken to, she never voluntarily approach anything music related. In her second university year, Mio rekindled her old passion and joined the photography club until the start of the third year when she quit to focus on her studies. Their hyper crazy Ritsu however, took on another extremely different lifestyle, she quit the school much to their surprise, and chose to isolate herself from her past life. Any calls or messages were unacknowledged, and according to her family, she had actually moved to live with her grandparents, her parents were not very pleased, but chose to respect her decision, and refused to reveal Ritsu's whereabouts. She could have hired a private investigator for this, but that would not be nice, and Mugi had some suspicious of her own, that a certain person knew exactly where she was, and had been keeping it a secret.

Scrolling through the names on her mobile's phonebook, she found it, and pressed the 'call' button.

After a while, Yui picked up the call.

* * *

><p><strong>Each chapter focuses on one of the five band members. The first draft only has four chapters in mind, because I forgot about Azusa!<strong>

'**Akane' is a random name for a random OC who will only appear in this chapter. Whenever I need a one-off character in a story, I would create an 'Akane'.**

**Next chapter: Yui keeps a secret**


	3. Some kind of secret I will share

**Chapter 3: ****Some kind of secret I will share with you**

_Tokyo, December 2007_

Azusa joined the two at the hospital on the second day, who exploded at them for not informing her sooner, but her outburst was understandable, and they could only meekly apologise. It was also Azusa who first brought up the question as to where was Ritsu, Mugi explained that she had consulted a doctor, and though her injuries were minor, he was not happy that she had just walked out of the treatment room while his back was turned. It was then the three noticed that Mio's expression turned sour whenever her name was mentioned.

On the third day, Mugi came to the hospital late, though she gave no explanation, Yui and Azusa figured that she went to look for Ritsu, and it was obvious that it was futile search.

On the fourth day, Yui found herself wandering on the campus, walking into every room their drummer would usually visit, not realising that she was walking the very same path Mugi walked just yesterday. Her journey ended at the club room, because the winter break was coming to an end, the room was not entirely empty, she greeted anyone she met there with a half-hearted smile or a simple wave, but otherwise they were blatantly ignored. Yui knew Ritsu was not there, but her gaze nevertheless searched every corner of the room hoping she would be there, eventually her eyes landed on the board listing the bands and their booked schedules, and on the side were the band members. Yui blinked a couple of times, hoping to dispel the image, then she ran up to the board to confirm it up close, Ritsu's name had been erased from the HTT's member list.

Yui knew she was not a rational person, unlike Mugi who could calmly call the right person and ask the right questions, all Yui could do was to run. Back to the dorm room again, then to any unimaginable place, she searched the whole place once more, then finally took a taxi to Ritsu's house. Despite how hectic her state of mind was, she knew Ritsu's family had left for a holiday, she was close to scaling the fence just to get to the door when a neighbour stopped her, providing the answer she needed, Ritsu had been spotted leaving the house early in the morning.

Sakuragaoka Girl's High School was Yui's next stop, and Yui told herself that she would even go to Nippon Budokan if she had to. The school gate was opened for staff to enter for their preparation of the new semester materials, Yui made brisk strides up the stairs, heading straight into the club room, never would she have thought she would be entering this place again under such circumstances. She held much hope in pushing the door wide open, but the place of void of life; the room was cleaned, the fish tank was drained while Ton was staying with Azusa over the holiday, and there were a pair of worn drumsticks placed neatly on the drum.

Ritsu came here to return her drumsticks, and Yui missed her. Yui fell to the floor, exhausted, she was lying to herself, she knew this would be her last stop, she just could not go on anymore only to meet with disappointment. Wiping the tears away with the back of her hands, she realised that something else was sitting beside her by the door, a piece of travel luggage. She bolted back up and spun around just in time to see the equally surprised Ritsu.

"Ricchan!"

Ritsu did not resist and allowed her friend to embrace her in a tight hug. This was not what Ritsu wanted, she had wanted to leave peacefully, but she could not resist visiting this room one last time, and now she had to face one of her friends.

"Where have you been?!" Yui screamed between her convulsive gasps made while weeping.

"Toilet," Ritsu answered honestly while laughing.

"Not funny!"

"Yui-chan, please let go of me, you're hurting me."

"I rather that than to let you leave us… You're leaving the band!"

"I quit the school as well," Ritsu quickly added.

Yui instantly loosened her hold, and Ritsu could tell what was about to say from the look in Yui's eyes, and the beady tears rolling down the cheeks. As expected, it was: "Why?!"

Ritsu thought she was prepared for this, she had coined a few excuses just in case any of them found her, but at that instant her mind just went blank all of the sudden, and she found herself repeating instead, "I quit school."

Yui slumped down to her knees. Kneeling down beside her, Ritsu returned a hug, and said, "I can't stay, I failed in the midterm exams."

"Ricchan, I failed a module too! It's only the midterms, we still got half a year, it's too early to give up!"

"Yui-chan, I just don't belong in school, I'm just killing my brain cells for nothing. I shouldn't have joined the university in the first place, and Mio should have enrolled in Ritsumeikan University as she originally planned, with her grades, she deserved that."

"Ricchan, it's not just about you, we – the four of us – agreed on this together, we decided on joining Japan Women's University so that we could play together! You aren't leaving solely based on your grades, and I'll prove to you that if a person like me can ace my modules, so can you, that you are just making up reasons to run away! It's not your fault that Mio's hurt!"

"But has she forgiven me?"

Yui immediately recalled the painful expression Mio bore on her face whenever Ritsu's name was mentioned, and could find the answer in her heart. Realising that Ritsu could see Yui's own doubt like an open book, she quickly replied, "You should be the one to ask her that, since the accident, you haven't even visited her once!"

"I can't, she wanted to play at the Budokan, to play at the summer festival, and I made them all impossible for her now."

"It's not that bad…"

"You weren't there, you didn't see the look on her face, how badly hurt her hand was."

Briefly, scenes of the accident returned to Ritsu, banishing the haunting memories away, she picked herself up and walked over to the luggage, leaving the lost Yui behind as fast as she could before she could regret it. However, Yui quickly regained herself and chased after her friend, and caught up to her in no time with one hand tightly locked onto Ritsu's free hand.

"Where are you going?"

"My grandparents' place, somewhere quiet for me to straighten up my thoughts," Ritsu said without turning around. "It's only for a while, at least until I'm ready to face Mio."

"How long will that take?"

"I don't know, don't worry, I'll be back," Ritsu said, but found great doubts in her own words, was it a lie? She could not tell anymore. Ritsu was surprised when she felt Yui releasing her grip, turning around to face her, she saw Yui carrying a forced smile with beady tears still flowing from her closed eyes.

"Come back soon, Ricchan…"

Guilt shaped like knives stabbed into Ritsu's heart, Yui believed her, but she could not even convince herself. Clutching her fist, she forced herself into saying, "Please keep this a secret, I need some time to myself. Also, I… will probably change my number and email as well." Before Yui could bring up a protest, Ritsu continued, "I will contact you once I'm settled down with a new line and email address."

Yui said nothing but nodded hard a few times, just as Ritsu was ready to leave for good, Yui pressed something hard against her hand. Looking down, it was her drumsticks, Ritsu did not know when Yui stole them from their resting place, but accepted it nevertheless.

"Please continue to practice, Ricchan. I'm sure we will play again, together with Mio-chan and Azu-nyan."

Stuffing the sticks into a side pocket of the luggage, Ritsu turned to say farewell, but she could neither force the words out, nor look straight into Yui's eyes, so she just left the sobbing girl with a simple wave over her shoulder.

**x**

_Tokyo, December 2012_

Hirasawa Yui got the same call from Mio as Mugi did, the news was just the thing she needed to put her mind at ease with all the school troubles. The winter break was just about coming to an end, but she had yet to finish grading all the exam papers, sure, she might be only teaching middle school, but somehow the questions she set herself for her students suddenly looked terribly hard, and even the answer sheets right by her side were not helping much. Earlier on before the call from Mio, Yui realised that she spent too much time with Gitah and Ui, so she swore to herself that for that day, she would remain in her room and forbid herself from Gitah, deserts, snacks and ice creams, until all the papers were marked, but when a second call came to distract the junior high school teacher, she picked it up without hesitation.

"Mugi-chan! Help me!"

She must have caught Mugi by surprise, the phone went dead for a while before Mugi started talking, and she went straight to the point. For the next ten minutes, Mugi was going on and on about their past, then the next ten was about Mio, and occasionally dropped Ritsu's name here and there, the conversation was so packed and almost one-sided that Yui had little chance to chip in. In the end, Mugi started talking about Ritsu, and that lasted a whole fifteen minutes.

After the call ended, Yui cast a brief look at the clock, then at the stack of papers, then at Gitah. She sighed and carried Gitah to the bed.

Yui knew she was neither a good secret keeper nor a good liar, fortunately Mugi and Azusa never talk about Ritsu in front of Mio, but the sad fact was that they talked a lot about Ritsu when Mio was not with them during the first few months. Yui had no doubt one or both of them had suspicions about her knowing where Ritsu was, she pondered for a second what took Mugi so long to drop a thirty-five minutes hint. Everything Mugi said was true, it was about time those two idiots get back together, though Mugi made no accusation, Yui was guilty enough without it. It was not that Yui did not try to reunite the two, sometimes she would add a hint of Mio's name into her conversations with Ritsu, but the results were never pretty. What would happen if Yui forced them to make up, and Ritsu decided to go psycho and mental on all of them, an unlikely scenario, but Yui was naturally creative at this kind of thing; a more likely scenario would be Ritsu withdrawing even further, and would stop communicating with her all together, that was what Yui was afraid of. Rather than risking losing her, Yui stopped trying, realising that all she could do was to maintain the link between herself and their lost friend, and eventually, just knowing Ritsu was alive and well became good enough for Yui. The only thing that remained was the promise made by Ritsu, that she would be back when she was ready to face Mio.

The clock ticked away past three in the morning, Gitah had been on her laps for hours, largely forgotten. Yui made her decision, and realised that she could not risk Ritsu disappearing on them again, so she would be needed there on site, and preferably with a tow truck to drag her back if she had to. She could not possibly return a call to Mugi, which would be like a murderer confessing her crime to the prosecutor, and somehow the idea of talking to Azusa came out least stressful.

Retrieving her phone from the desk, Yui punched in the numbers and waited.

"Azu-nyan!" Yui said excitedly, practically yelling.

Yui was greeted with silence.

"Are you asleep?" Another pause before a reply was given. "No? How odd, what are you doing playing football in the middle of the night?"

Azusa's sarcasm failed Yui, as the middle school teacher was already wondering what was wrong with her phone line, because there was a long break of silence again.

"Anyway, I need to borrow your car. Erm… yeah, you know me, I'm still a klutz when it comes to navigating the road, can't tell the right from the left. Maps confuse me too… Hmm? You're right! Come to think of it, I need to borrow a driver as well. … … Well, it's like this, I'm planning to find Ricchan. Well, I kinda know where she's living. Yup, I got her address, and her numbers and email. Sorry… I truly am! Please forgive me!" After a while, the person on the other end of the line asked a simple question, at which Yui replied with, "Hokkaido."

Unexpectedly, Azusa slammed the phone down on her.

* * *

><p><strong>I intentionally left out a lot of other characters, from Sawako to people who should be visiting Mio at the hospital (like her parents and fanclub), because they offer little to none to the story.<strong>

**Next chapter: Azusa goes to Hokkaido**


	4. There she goes

**Chapter 4: There she goes**

_Tokyo, December 2007_

Azusa joined the two at the hospital on the second day, who exploded at them for not informing her sooner, but her outburst was understandable, and they could only meekly apologise. On the third day, Mugi left without warning to find Ritsu, and on the fourth, it was Yui's turn, while Mugi disappeared to fetch Sawako, Nodoka and a few closer friends, she would have involve more people but Mio had specifically told that she would rather not bother as many people as possible.

Alone with Mio was a nerve racking experience for Azusa, it was not just the imposing sight of the splint that enveloped Mio's right hand and the bandages and plasters on various parts of her face, but also the smile Mio always carried. Mio was hurt, far more than Azusa initially thought, but the pain came not from the injured fingers but from the heart, hiding it with a smile that was an obvious lie. When the doctor who identified himself as just 'Isshi' came to brief Mio and her friends on her status, Mio did not cringe on the sight on the x-ray slides, nor wince on hearing broken tendons and ruptured blood vessels, and would listen patiently and asked the right questions, acting as if the one injured was not herself. The doctor must have saw through her act, when Azusa excused herself to get a juice, the doctor caught her outside in the corridor, and asked if Mio always acted like that.

After telling the doctor that was certainly not the usual Mio, Azusa took this opportunity to ask her own question, the question she had no chance to ask Mugi or Yui, the question she could not ask him when Mio was around, "Isshi-sensei, will she be able to continue playing guitar?"

The doctor was obviously not familiar with musical instruments, as he had to hold an invisible air guitar just to visualise it, and it was only after Azusa reminded him that Mio was left-handed that he switched hands and played some invisible strings with his right hand. Putting his hands down, he glanced down to look at the worried Azusa in the eyes, and after some consideration, he said, "That would depend on Akiyama-san's determination, and her therapy she has to go through. As mentioned, she has torn flexor tendons on all her fingers except for the thumb, and recovery from that can be challenging, and hard to say at this point of time. Though full recovery is possible from past cases, there are some patients who despite intensive therapy still experience numbness, the lost of flexibility, or the inability to perform more delicate action."

The doctor remained where he was, patiently waiting for any further questions from the girl who had obviously lost herself in her own thoughts, just when he figured there were no other questions to be answered, Azusa looked up and asked, "Does she know?"

"She didn't mention anything about playing music, but she did ask about the chance of full recovery, and I told her the same thing."

The answer did not make life easier for Azusa, after the break, she returned to the stool by Mio's bed, to witness the lying smile again, just what was she smiling for?

'_Does Mio-senpai knows that she's just hurting the people around her?'_

Picking up the TV magazine which they had been reading together before Isshi's visit, Azusa opened it up to the pages where they were before the interruption, and spread the pages across Mio's laps. Together, they discussed the articles, and commented on the celebrities, everything returned to normal until Azusa caught a peek as to what the next page was offering. She could not be sure, but she spied a guitar, her mind recognised it as a taboo topic, but her hand was not registering her command to stop, and was already flipping the page over, she quickly forced herself to flick back to the previous page before the full picture was shown, but was caught by Mio's left hand.

"Please don't do that," Mio said casually while gently lifting Azusa's hand from the magazine, then smoothened the pages so that the picture of a singer posing with a guitar was revealed. "You don't have to do that for me, Azusa. I'm okay."

It was not okay for Azusa; it was true that Azusa admired Mio for her maturity and beauty, but this was certainly not the same Mio Azusa fell in love with, this new Mio was anything but mature, like a stubborn brat who refused to admit she was wrong. Ignoring the magazine, she got up and sat next to Mio on the bed, knowing the position she imposed on the injured Mio whom had one hand strapped onto the stand to elevate it would be uncomfortable, she cuddled Mio and buried her own face in Mio's hair. She selfishly hoped that Mio would complain about the pain, but nothing came, only Mio's free hand that stroked her own black hair. Azusa knew tears were coming out, and nothing could stop them.

"Mio-senpai… Please stop smiling like that…" Azusa mustered between the muted sobs.

"Azusa…"

Azusa could not see it, but she knew Mio was smiling.

"Please cry for no one but yourself, please be the old Mio-senpai! Please forgive Ritsu-senpai!" Azusa pushed herself back up and yelled, and what she saw surprised her. Mio was indeed smiling, but her eyes were also wet. "Mio-senpai…"

"I should be the one apologising."

"Mio-senpai…?"

"I'm not blind and deaf, I know Ritsu has not been visiting me, and I know why. I was conscious before the surgery, and I said many mean things to Ritsu, all of which I regret now. I know that there was no one to blame for the accident no one could prevent, it was a matter of luck, and I merely received the short end of the stick. When I was thrown off the bike, I subconsciously tried to cushion the fall with my hands, odds were that the angle and the force were against me. My fingers touched the ground first, but the impact propelled me further and over, and the weight caused my fingers to bend further than they should. But I blamed her for everything, I said I hate her, I said I don't want to see her ever again, and now it's coming true, she's not coming back."

Azusa was speechless, somehow this felt like a confession, and she did not know how she should respond or whether to say anything at all.

"Azusa, my weak self chased Ritsu away, if I can show Ritsu that I've recovered, that I can play my bass guitar again, then she will know that she has no reason to hate herself, that she has no reason to hate me."

Mio was not angry at Ritsu, only at herself. No one was innocent; there were only degrees of responsibility.

**x**

_Sapporo, January 2013_

The intercom announced that the plane would be landing in ten minutes, and reminded the passengers to have their seatbelts fastened. Unlike the middle school teacher who was fast asleep on their local flight from the main island of Honshu to their destination, Hokkaido, Nakono Azusa who was sitting beside Yui was very much awake. It had been a few days since Yui's initial call to Azusa, and after a long lengthy lecture about keeping secret, Azusa moved on to educate her friend that Hokkaido was another island, and what they needed were air tickets, not a land vehicle. The discussion soon involved Mugi, who should have joined them in this flight, but was called away by her father at the last minute to attend a meeting, which in her own words as a 'redundant board meeting with all the big shots where my opinions don't matter'. Not wanting to waste any more time, Mugi pushed the two to go ahead with the plan, and to make it up to them, she said that she would visit Mio instead.

Azusa was dead tired, she barely caught any sleep with the 'live' performance she and other members of HTT Ni did last night, and not to mention the overtime she had to do to make up for the leaves she took to have this trip with Yui; but with Mio's words fresh in her mind, her brain was in turbo, she could not forget what Mio told her back then at the hospital when they were alone. Azusa shared with the girls what Mio told her, and from Yui, she learnt that Yui tried to pass this to Ritsu through the phone, but the first few times she would just abruptly hang up the phone before she could finish the sentence, and next few attempts were met with denials. That would mean Ritsu knew to an extent that Mio was no longer angry with her, but she continued to act otherwise.

After the plane touched down at the New Chitose Airport, a minor crisis happened when Yui 'misplaced' the notebook with Yui's address, and after overcoming another slight incident that involved 'losing' Yui's luggage, they finally got themselves a taxi after a remarkably long queue. The seat inside the vehicle was not by any means the most comfortable, but Azusa felt that for once she could finally rest, but she only had to close her eyes for a brief moment before Yui shook her by the shoulders.

"Azu-nyan, wake up, this is as far as the taxi can go, we will have to go there by foot."

Azusa had no idea how long she had slept, but she knew that it did not help at all, and in fact reinforced the fatigue in her. With her heavy eyelids still threatening to pull her back to sleep, Azusa forced herself out of the taxi, and joined Yui in retrieving the luggage from the boot. Having in mind to stay for two days at most, both girls kept their respective belongings to the minimal for easy travelling, pulling their wheeled luggage down the road, Azusa saw shops and stores lining the street, and in a short distance their destination. Yui only had Ritsu's home address and the name of the place she worked in, a quick search before coming to Hokkaido revealed its address; figuring that they might as well dine there, both girls decided to catch Ritsu there.

They were instantly greeted by a friendly waitress the moment the automated glass doors slid open, who soon guided the pair to a table by the windows, and presented them the menu. The family restaurant served anything from hot waffles to hamburger steaks, but it was still too early for dinner, so Yui opted for an ice cream float, while Azusa chose black coffee. Just before the waitress turned to leave, Azusa asked if a Tainaka Ritsu worked there.

"Ahh, Tainaka-san, she's should be in the kitchen. I'll go take a look."

Once the waitress was gone, Yui adopted her 'teacher mode' and said with a disapproving stern look, "You look so dreadful, with those eye bags of yours. You shouldn't have played the gig last night, _Azusa_. You could have told us that HTT Ni had a performance on the same night we're flying."

"Couldn't help it, we already booked the slot, and Ritsu-senpai is just as important to me, I won't back down if this was the only time the two of you were free…"

"Boo…" Yui protested with a pout. "Anyway, Azu-nyan, please stop drinking so much coffee, especially black! It will give you dark skin!"

"I don't know where you heard that, but that's not true, and I get tanned easy anyway, so by your logic, I should be drinking more milk."

"Of course!"

"I don't suppose you heard all these from your students?"

Yui instantaneously gasped and flinched as if Azusa just uncovered some sort of dark secret. Azusa chuckled softly to herself, satisfied that some things never change, Yui was still as gullible, and thinking back, Mio would still make a fuss about food with high calories, while Mugi was still crazy about commoner's lifestyle. Even if she now had a second band, there would always be a place in her heart for the original HTT.

But changes in them were inevitable, whether in looks or in personalities, Azusa wondered how different Ritsu would be by the time they finally met after six years. Banishing the outlandish thoughts of Ritsu wearing tattoos and facial piercing, she started looking around the restaurant, and as if on cue, a head popped out from the kitchen, only to disappear back, even if it was for a short split second, Ritsu appeared as she remembered, down to the hairband that pushed her hair back. Fearing Ritsu would actually run, Azusa bolted up from the seat, but the returning waitress was in her way to make the sprint to the kitchen.

"One ice cream float, and one black coffee," the waitress said as she set down their orders. "Tainaka-san said she's paying for your tab."

"What about Ritsu-senpai?!" Azusa asked, after resisting the urge to push aside the waitress.

"Tainaka-san said that she's busy, and will meet you here after the dinner hours."

The two spent their time idling, mostly talking about Yui's class, since Yui learnt all she needed to know about HTT Ni from Ui anyway, until Azusa ordered another cup of coffee, which earned another lecture from the middle school teacher. When dinnertime came, they did not eat much, they had more than enough to worry about than their own stomachs. Finally, the customer population started to dwindle, leaving the two and the staff who were clearing up, eventually, the restaurant emptied itself of costumers and staff, and when the ceiling lights switched off one by one, the girls panicked, worried that they were forgotten and Ritsu had escaped them. When the lights were down to two, the one in the kitchen flicked off, and a figure in the shadow came walking out to join them under the remaining light next to the windows.

"Ricchan!"

"Yui!"

They greeted each other as if nothing had changed, and truly, Ritsu didn't change much in terms of appearance since they last met, and just when Azusa had this feeling that she had been forgotten, Ritsu turned and said, "Who's your boyfriend?"

"My hair isn't that short!" Azusa retorted violently.

"I'm just joking, Azusa," Ritsu laughed. "I already heard from Yui about you chopping it short, she said it looks good on you, but I still want my ponytail Azu-nyan!"

Ritsu had just played a joke on her, that should be something the normal Ritsu would do, but something seemed off to Azusa.

"So you're a cook now?" Azusa asked instead.

"Just an assistant cook, can't help it when this is a family business, and I'm still an outsider after all, recommended by a friend of a relative." Pulling a chair from the other table, she sat down at the end of the table even though there were still plenty of spaces beside the girls.

"Ritsu-senpai..."

Ritsu immediately cut Azusa off with, "Azusa, you can stop calling me 'senpai', we are no long high schoolers. I heard from Yui that you did great with the light music club, and even formed a band from it. HTT Ni, isn't it? And you actually produced a CD with a few songs in it, must have made good money from that."

"That was a year ago, and we gave it out for free, but it was well-received. Actually, I brought along one copy, let me get it!" Azusa said excitedly as she spun away to dig into her bag for it.

"It's okay; I won't have the time to listen to it anyway."

Even though Azusa's hands already found the case by blindly groping around the contents in her bag, she did not immediately turn to face Ritsu. Clutching the edge of the CD case that was originally made for Ritsu and Mio, included inside was an instrumental song HTT Ni had never played in public before, it was the song HTT was supposed to perform on the night of the accident. Azusa closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning and slammed the case in front of Ritsu, saying, "Take it."

Ritsu's expression told her that she was caught surprised, but the same could be said for Azusa herself.

"Scary..." Ritsu mumbled, and submissively accepted it, though she did not even cast a single glance at.

"Ricchan!" Yui shouted suddenly, the reason she had been mostly quiet was probably thinking on how to start, to tell Ritsu about their reason of coming.

"What now?" Ritsu yelped. "Don't startle me like that; what's wrong with you two?"

"Mio-chan is getting married!"

"Woah, you're serious? What about Sawa-chan?" Ritsu exclaimed, but it was obvious that she acted like they were talking about a stranger, not someone whom she had known since childhood.

"What about Sawa-chan?" Yui asked in return.

"She's going to be left up in the shelf if she's still not married by now."

"Ritsu-senpai! Don't divert the conversation, we are here because of Mio's marriage, and we want you there," Azusa picked up with a raised voice.

"Who's the 'we'?"

"Me, Yui-senpai, and Mugi-senpai, she's busy and can't come, but she shares the same feeling as the two of us, we all want you back."

"Just you three?"

Yui tried to salvage the situation by saying, "Mio-chan invited everyone, from middle school to her colleagues!"

"I see, I guess I'm invited, by definition, I'm under 'everyone' after all."

"You know what we mean, stop twisting our words around! Ritsu-senpai, it's true that if she really wants to find you, she would have, but she's a coward, she is afraid to face you, like you are afraid to see her. What are you trying to accomplish hiding here? Why are we the ones fighting your battle? If you are truly sorry, go see her, nothing is going to be done by doing nothing!" Azusa snapped and slammed her palms against the table, but she was quick to return one hand to pinch her nose bridge. "Sorry, Ritsu-senpai," Azusa apologized.

"Azusa …"

"She hasn't had much sleep lately-" Yui tried to cover for Azusa, but Azusa was just as quick to continue where she left off.

"Ritsu-senpai, I'm sorry that we got off a rough start after our… reunion," Azusa mumbled, one hand still over her face, partly to massage aching eyes, partly to hide her tears. "We are going to the hotel, get some sleep, and let's talk again tomorrow, maybe you can introduce us to a café somewhere for tea, like old times," Azusa said as she stood up, while turning away from Ritsu.

"Azu-nyan," Yui called out as she found herself trapped between following Azusa and leaving Ritsu.

"Tomorrow," Ritsu said while remained seated, reassuring her that she should follow Azusa who was already out of the door, that she would be here, same time, same place. "Let's meet again tomorrow, Yui."

Yui hurried after Azusa after a hard nod, giving Ritsu some much needed breathing space. Even if it was just a while, Ritsu needed to be alone. When was the last time she saw Azusa crying, too long, the last time was when the four of them graduated from Sakuragaoka Girl's High School. Yui, Mugi and herself were always the crazier bunch, and it had always been the more-serious Azusa and Mio who tried, and failed, to keep rein on them. The old times. How long had it been since she was looking forward to a Christmas? Looking down, she realised that she been clutching the CD case ever since it landed in her hand, how long had it been since she listened to some music? Too long.

* * *

><p><strong>Random facts:<br>- each chapter is named after lyrics from different songs, no prize for guessing it right  
>- 'Isshi' means doctor, I know, not a very creative name<br>- the 'Ni' in 'HTT Ni' means two or second**

**Next chapter: Ritsu makes her smile**


	5. To see you smiling every day

**Chapter 5: I would give you the world to see you smiling every day**

_Tokyo, December 2007_

Her head was throbbing, and ears ringing, her whole body ached so bad that it felt like someone had just beat the crap out of her. Every breath she took brought her pain, but she nevertheless managed to squeak out a name. Someone was by her side, she could not recognise the face, with her vision still swirling, she could not tell if he was a ghost or an angel. She tried to form words with her pale trembling lips, not realising that the only sound she made was her name, "Mio."

Someone carried her away from the scooter to the side of the road, the stranger asked her something, but in her current state, her mind could not compute anything. Bits and pieces of what happened came rushing into her head, first was the light from the truck that was speeding towards them, she tried everything she could with her scooter and dodged it, but it must had hit a pothole or a road curb or something. Ritsu remembered losing her grip over the handlebar, and then she was in the air. Then, she remembered a face, and the meaning behind the name she had been calling. "Mio," she croaked.

"Mio!" she called out as she suddenly bolted upright, which brought instant dizziness from the sudden rush of blood. The same stranger who saw the accident and came to their aid tried to calm her down, but she ignored his assistance and instantly stood back up despite the light-headedness. Pushing aside the people who helped her, she started a short sprint towards another group crowding over a fallen girl.

The sight was a bloody mess, one hand clutching the other, all the fingers were bent and twisted in impossible angles, there was no open wound so the flowing blood caused the fist to swell instead. Unlike her, the girl was fully awake, she was screaming madness Ritsu could not unhear, and she would never forget the look Mio gave her.

**x**

_Tokyo, July 2013_

Kotobuki Hotel was an imposing five-star hotel that towered over its neighbouring structures, and it certainly made the dress Ritsu had spent a month's wage on looked like it was bought in a back alley budget shop, but looks and vanity were the least of her worries, this was where Mio's post-solemnisation reception was being held. It had been months since Azusa and Yui visited her at her workplace, though having a rough start, they spent their next one day together as they should as best of friends, after all that, Ritsu thought she could get over her past, and decided that regardless of whether Mio could forgive her, she had to see her. However procrastination adding on to procrastination, she never had, until now.

Entering the lobby, she took out the invitation card she had received, more in hoping to find a reason not to continue on than to admire the names, the tiny footprint that HTT Ni would be the guest performer, and the fancy design on the expensive-looking paper.

"Can I help you, miss?"

Like a criminal caught red-handed, Ritsu found herself frozen stiff, surprised but still relieved that someone familiar ended up resolving her dilemma for her. Though it had been years since they had spoken to one another, that voice was unmistakable, turning around with smile on her face to greet her old friend, the words fled her lips the moment she saw what she was seeing. "Mugi… I sort of imagined you being more of a waitress kind of person."

Dressed in a vest and tie, Mugi introduced herself, "I'm your floor manager today, Ricchan. Welcome to Kotobuki Hotel," Having said that, Mugi opened up her arms to give Ritsu a hug, then proceed to whisper into Ritsu's ear in a more intimate manner, "Don't underestimate the suit, Ricchan. It's not easy to get one."

"This is your hotel, you can be anyone."

"No, this is my father's hotel," Mugi corrected while emphasising the word 'father'. "I actually had to negotiate with him to be one, but in the end, it was worth it, I get to wear the uniform, look at the material and the petite cuff," Mugi said, momentarily overtaken by her passion for all things commoner, she spun around on the spot to give Ritsu a good look. "Also, I get to wear this cool wired earpiece for communication. Doesn't this remind you of what those secret agents in the movies are wearing?"

Before Ritsu realized it, she was already laughing, having remembered what she missed about Mugi, "It looks like you are enjoying yourself too much to be working."

"Indeed, but work is second only to play, and enjoying Mio-chan's wedding. With this suit, I have the freedom to walk around, and make sure that our best friend's party gets what it truly deserves," Mugi said, all the smiles she had worn melted away in an instant to reveal the maturity in the keyboardist, a different side of Mugi that Ritsu did not know. Realising tears were showing, Mugi abruptly turned away to hide them, but after a blink or two, the smile was back up.

"Mugi… Please don't be like that, I'm sorry that I left just like that."

"No, Ricchan, I should be the one apologizing. You needed time, but you needed us too, and we did nothing until Mio decided to get married. We should have all been there for you, and Mio-chan," Mugi said suddenly. Bowing a little, and extending a hand, she gestured towards the hall, saying, "Come, Ricchan, let me show you the way."

'_You have hoped that I could turn things around, that's why you did nothing, you believe in me, Mugi, something I can't say for myself,'_ Ritsu cogitated over everything that happened, and somehow she felt like she was the only one still trapped on the snow fallen street. Instead of walking the path Mugi pointed out, Ritsu grabbed hold of her hand instead, surprising the girl, "Mugi, today, you are not the manager!"

They spoke little when they walked together hand in hand, for a pair who had not met for years, it looked like they had little to share with one another, but on the contrary, both girls had loads on their mind, just not knowing how to start, or afraid of how to end it without hurting each other. They walked past the crystal chandeliers hanging under the tall ceiling until they reached the large staircase, climbing it, they reached the second floor, and after a few turns, they found their place, before the closed doors were some vases of flowers, a sign stating the event, a table with Yui behind it, and Azusa standing by the door.

"Ricchan!" Yui bolted upright in an instance, and paying no regards to the long flowing dress she was wearing, she climbed and threw herself over the table, trying to hug both girls in one scoop. While Yui flew in the air like a flightless dodo in the sky, Ritsu was too shocked to move, Azusa panicked and scrambled over to catch Yui, Mugi cocked her head, calmly analysed the situation, took a step forward.

Snatching Yui from midair, Mugi proudly held the girl up like having caught the prized homerun ball. "Catch!" she proclaimed.

Azusa managed to stop herself in time before crashing into Ritsu, but not fast enough to not warrant Ritsu into backing up against the wall. Coming a little too close for comfort, Azusa shyly greeted before averting her gaze, "Senpai."

"Nice catch, Mugi-chan," Yui praised, unfazed by the event. Looking over Mugi, she then asked, "See, Azunyan? Ricchan's here now, I told you she'd be here. Oh, you can let me down now, Mugi-chan."

"I was not worried, I knew she'll be here," Azusa sulked with her arms folded.

"Now, now, Azunyan, you will ruin your makeup _again_ if you started crying now," Yui said. Now that she was back on her feet, Yui felt like she had forgotten something, then it returned back to her. Taking Mugi's hand, Yui started running, pulling Mugi along.

"Eh?!" Ritsu and Azusa shared the same consensus, surprised to see Yui running towards them. Once Yui was close enough to the pair, she skipped a step, hopped a bit, and resumed her original plan, and hugged Ritsu and Azusa. Mugi who was happily trailing behind joined in as well.

"Ricchan!"

"Yui," was all Ritsu could manage.

"Senpai…" Azusa gagged.

"Group hug!" Mugi declared.

"You should have been there during the solemnisation, the weather was great, beach was lovely, and Mio-chan was perfect. Why weren't you there, and you didn't pick up my calls, Ricchan," Yui pouted as if nothing happened, wrapping her arms around Ritsu and Azusa with no indication of letting go.

"I'm here, aren't I? Sorry, the beach is a hard place to get to," Ritsu said, patting Yui on the head after she managed to squeeze an arm out. True, but neither Ritsu nor Mugi chose not to mention that there were many pickup points across the cities for free shuttle service, and Yui seemed to believe her words for it, which hurt her a little to be honest, Ritsu wondered if she had to lie anymore to the girl who trusted and believed her so much.

Eventually Mugi backed off, then Yui finished her cuddle, and finally Ritsu's hold over Azusa who ended up running into her when trying to escape from Yui. Mugi said nothing, but it was obvious on her face, that she actually enjoyed it, and Yui was beaming wide because of Ritsu's return, but Azusa was acting weird.

"Azusa," Ritsu called out, at which Azusa froze in her path. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Ritsu-senpai," she answered without looking at Ritsu.

"You're not still mad at me, are you?" Ritsu asked. She looked at Yui and Mugi for answer, and it appeared that they knew why Azusa was acting so, but decided to let Ritsu handle this herself.

"Of course not, come, let's go, we are already late," Azusa said, bringing up an arm to wipe away the tears.

"Your makeup is going to scare Mio," Ritsu said, bringing Mio into the conversation hurt a little, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Then Ritsu realised what was wrong, like how Ritsu was afraid of seeing Mio, Azusa was feeling guilty about something as well. Approaching the junior guitarist from behind, Ritsu hugged the girl. "I hope you are still not blaming yourself about our conversation we had at my restaurant, it have been months already, and it was something I needed. Thanks to you, and the CD, I got reminded of our music, not just the music me and Mio were playing, but the ones when _we_ were together. I haven't said this to anyone yet, but I'm sorry that while trying to save Mio from more pain, I ended up hurting everyone."

Tearing herself from Ritsu, Azusa suddenly picked up the pace and ran off, dragging Mugi along with her, who was looked suspiciously pleased and could not stop smirking at the hand Azusa was holding. "Mugi-senpai, quick, please help me fix my makeup."

"Azusa…?"

"Don't worry, Ricchan, she's fine again," Yui said while looking in the direction where Azusa and Mugi ran off to.

"That's a relief, it was a wild guess that she still worried about the outburst back at the restaurant. I didn't know it affected her so much, I didn't know that after all these, she still worries about my feelings…"

"No one could have guessed, she didn't share with anyone how she felt. Like you didn't let anyone know what you were truly thinking as well."

Ritsu narrowed her eyes, and blinked a few times.

"Are you in teacher mode right now? You are suddenly so mature that it's scary. I'd rather have my Hyde back now, thank you Miss Jekyll."

"Eh?" Yui posed with her head tipped sideways.

"Good, let's go in already," Ritsu said, but it was easier said than done. Though her hand reached the handle, she lost the strength to open the door.

Seeing her difficulty, Yui placed her hand on the other handle. "On three?"

Ritsu hesitantly nodded.

"One, two," Yui counted, looking sideway for a moment to see how Ritsu was coping. The girl was so focused on her own trembling hand, Yui wondered if she could hear her counting at all. Trusting her 'til the end, Yui finished off the final count, "Three!"

Yui twisted the handle and pulled open one side of the double doors, and though Ritsu was late on her part, she opened the other side as well.

The lights in the hall had been dimmed, and some movie was been played on the projection screen, memorised by the sight, Ritsu halted in her steps. The movie was a photo collage slideshow from both the past to the present, alternating between the groom and the bride, and Ritsu recognised many of the photos from Mio's side of the story, she was in most of her childhood photos after all.

"Sokabe-senpai is one of the two emcees for tonight, the other guy is a friend of Isshi-san."

"I didn't know… Mio and Sokabe-senpai are that close."

"Sobake-senpai was very persistent to host the event."

"That can't be good…" Breaking the trance the movie held over her, RItsu suddenly asked, "Where's Mio?"

"She's sitting at the front with Isshi-san, facing the stage."

Now that she found her, she saw that Mio was reacting very comically towards her own photos being shown, and would bury her face behind her hands or in the broad shoulder of the man sitting beside her whenever she got embarrassed. She was happy that her Mio did not change, and even felt a bit jealous that she was unable to be by her side.

After the slideshow ended, Sokabe Megumi teased the crowd with a video of her own, saying, "Some of you have seen this before, perhaps many times, for those who didn't know, our Akiyama Mio is a very talented artist. I present to you, from my own personal collection…"

"She can't do this, stop her," Ritsu said, grabbing and shaking Yui's arm violently.

"Relax, Ricchan, just watch," Yui tried to pacify Ritsu.

As Ritsu guessed, it was their first school festival concert, Mio's first song, and as she expected, Mio did not take kindly to the video, but it was not as she imagined. Mio was more embarrassed about what would happen once the song ended, than the fact that she was playing a left-handed bass guitar. The video then cut short the moment Mio tripped on the wire, and nothing was exposed. Megumi smirked and apologized, saying that she could not possibly show the best scene to everyone. People who knew what Megumi meant laughed; Mio sighed and then joined in the laughter.

The male emcee then took out a guitar from behind the curtain, "Come up to the stage, Mio-san, we have your bass guitar with us, come play a few tunes for us."

"Can't be, Mio's broke that night… She bought another one? She's playing again? Why didn't you tell me," Ritsu turned to ask Yui.

"Mio-chan bought a new guitar sometime after our graduation; we only knew about it recently, I think she wanted to be ready before telling us."

'_Mio, silly girl…'_

"It's starting," Yui said. "Please watch Mio-chan's performance, however short it might be, this is her way of telling us that she is fine now, and not to worry about her."

Looking back at the stage, Ritsu saw that though the shy girl's cheeks were burning red with embarrassment, she had reluctantly accepted the challenge. Ascending the steps by the side of the stage, the bride of the day received her own guitar from the emcee's hand. Looking for a last boost of confidence, she turned to see Isshi's face, and then by chance, her glance fell onto the girls standing at the back of the hall.

From where she was, Ritsu could see Mio appearing surprised, and even took a step back, but smiling in the end. "Mio…" Ritsu muttered under her breath. "I'm sorry."

As if the girl on the stage could hear the tiny frightened voice all the way at the other end of the hall, Mio mouthed something back. Shutting her eyes, Mio waited for her strength to come back, and took the strap from the guitar and hung it over her left shoulder.

Even though her mind was already in a blank, she noticed something odd, and asked to no one in particular, "Why is she using a right-handed guitar?"

Ritsu looked back, seeking the answer from her Yui's face, but could only see a pained expression, as if having something to say, but she was afraid of actually saying it.

"Yui!" Ritsu called, her raised volume called for some unwanted attention from the people around them, whom mostly recognised the pair as their schoolmates.

Looking away, it took a while before she spoke, "Mio-chan's right hand isn't as nimble as before, she can't handle the frets, so she chose to switch to using a right-handed guitar where she can use a pick."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ritsu asked, her hands still on Yui's shoulders but no longer shaking the girl, because she knew the answer herself. No doubt Yui at some point tried, but her own self enforced ignorance towards the world and Mio prevented it.

Then the music started, drawing Ritsu's attention back to the stage, and Ritsu recognised the song in an instant, it was the intro that was to build up to the main phrase of the song, their song that they had never played before anyone else. Mio had always deployed techniques involving the fingers when playing her bass guitar, but now that Mio was limited to playing with a pick, Ritsu was surprised to hear that she could not tell the differences.

'_You want to be ready, even though I can't tell the difference, knowing you, you probably think that the music you are playing now is not good enough. Is this why you didn't look for me?'_

"Ricchan…"

"Yeah, I know, the intro lasted only a few seconds, and she's repeating it. She wants us to join her."

While Sokabe Megumi suspected and had anticipated it, in the male emcee's eyes, nothing was going according to schedule, including the part when the second curtain of the stage suddenly opened, revealing the inner portion of the stage as well as the instrument to be used later, and the surprised Azusa. The equally surprised Mio looked back, and saw the panicky Azusa removing the 'Ni' from the sign hanging on the back, and a floor manager carrying a keyboard out, only to realise that she had forgotten the stand.

"Ricchan, it looks like they are about ready," Yui crept up from behind with a grin. "Let's go!" she shouted as she started pushing the drummer towards the stage.

Ritsu resisted at first, but soon submitted to the push, picking up speed to match Yui's pace. The last few metres felt like a lifetime, each step closing the gap threatened to steal a beat from her heart, by the time she reached the stage, standing before the bassist, her legs were already about to give way to the burden she had been carrying. Mio stopped playing, and squatted down, trying to match eye level with the girl standing on floor level, her gaze darting around, her breath heavy, looking for the right words.

"Mio," Ritsu started first, but was cut off in an instance with a finger placed on her lips.

"I forgive you, Ritsu."

Ritsu brushed aside the finger, and shouted, "But-"

"I know those are not the words you want to hear, you won't believe it no matter how many times I say it or how I say it, but those are the words I should have said a long time ago. And because I didn't-"

"What are you talking about, Mio? Who is the one that's hurt? Your hand, your fingers, because of me…" At mentioning her hand, Mio reactively retracted her right hand, but soon brought it back to the front, presenting to Ritsu the hand that was still clutching the pick firmly, but Ritsu could not bear to watch, and tried to look away. "Mio…"

"I can't switch chords fast enough with these fingers, and I can still pluck the strings with them, though it's not as efficient as using a pick."

"Mio, had I watched the road, had I been more careful, this wouldn't have happened."

"The reason I want you to see this hand, is not because I'm blaming you for it, but because I would like us to go back to the way it was, back when we had a problem, we would just talk it through. I want us to share everything, regardless if it's pain or joy, like how we used to. I already heard your apologies countless times; after the accident, on the ambulance, in the hospital, you already told me that you are sorry, I remember those words, and you've said enough. Neither of us meant this to happen. Ritsu, I also remember telling you that there are many great bassists who only play with their picks, if they can do it, so can I."

The few years between them felt like it had stolen the Mio she knew from her, though she still get embarrassed easily, the Mio before her was stronger now, but Ritsu could not ignore the reason why Mio had to be strong.

"Mio, I'm sorry… that it took me so long to see you."

"That will be the last apology I will accept for the day, from now on, no more apologies, Ritsu. Not from me, not from you, not for anything regarding that day."

Looking behind Mio, Ritsu could see Mugi, Azusa and Yui standing ready by their positions, all that remain was to have the bassist return to the centre and the drummer come on stage. Seeing the tears on Mio's face, Ritsu clumsily reached out to wipe them with her thumb.

"No more tears as well."

"You're right, I'm not good at singing when I'm crying."

"You are singing?"

"This is my Budokan after all, wherever you are, as long as we are together, we are playing in our Budokan."

"Then you need a drummer," Ritsu chuckled.

"Stairs on either side of the stage, Ritsu."

As if released from a spell, Ritsu felt like she was brought back to the real world, hearing their names from the guests, Ritsu wondered how long they had been cheering. Mio's words were not easy on her, it would not be easy to forgive herself, but she could try.

Taking the steps to her right, she met Mugi, "Do you always have a keyboard around? Or did you plan this all along?"

"This is _my_ hotel, remember?"

Walking to the drum kit still spotting a 'HTT Ni' decal, Ritsu sat behind it, feeling the face and the sticks, she certainly had not expected to be playing again. "Too many drums and cymbals, this just doesn't feel right," RItsu mumbled. Putting her handbag onto the floor beside the kit, she took out her old sticks.

Looking up, she saw the familiar faces looking back at her, awaiting her signal. In return, Ritsu examined each and every one of her friends standing around her, then finally Mio.

'_Even though I came with the intention of asking for your forgiveness, I don't think I can forgive myself so easily, Mio, but I understand now the meaning everyone are trying to convey to me, regardless whose fault it is, nothing can be solved by just running away. Everyone has moved on to show that we can't linger in our past, they have grown stronger for my sake, so I must do the same for you. Even though I can't always be physically by your side, please know that from now on, I'll always be there for you whenever you need me, no matter what. And I'm sure you will be there for me as well._

'_With the bright spotlights shining on us, and the cheers in the crowd, I guess you're right, we don't need to be at the Budokan, to have our own Budokan. Everyone's waiting for me, I better start the show.'_

Raising her hands up with the drumsticks in her hands, Ritsu took a deep breath and counted down for the first time in many years, "One, two, one, two, three, four!"

.

..

...

_Longing for you, day and in dream  
>I'm hoping you are here, and leading my way<em>

_You steers my road, anytime I need  
>If you walk away, I will follow you<em>

_Trying my life  
>With your secret gifts you gave to me<br>I won't vain and succeed it as your precious soul_

_Holding your hand  
>And I'm walking through the all of the world<br>Carrying your wish like the Venus in the dim sky_

...

..

.

Ritsu looked up, and found Mio looking back at her, smiling. Like before, they no longer need to speak to know what each other were thinking.

**END**

* * *

><p><strong>Title: Aesthetic (<strong>**エステティック****)  
>Vocal: <strong>**Aika Sekiyama**** (****関山藍果****)**

The featured lyrics came from an insert _Engrish_ song of a Japanese drama, though the tempo and style doesn't match what HTT would usually perform, I like the lyrics and find it suitable for the story. And yes, the song is actually very melancholic.

**The chapter titles are from:  
><strong>Jenny Stigile (English version) – "Wind Nocturne" (English version)  
>Treat – "All In"<br>Daft Punk – "Something About Us"  
>Sixpence None The Richer – "There She Goes"<br>AKINO – "Genesis of Aquarion"

**Changed from the earlier drafts:  
><strong>- Ritsu picks Mio up from her house with her scooter  
>- Both hands are hurt, but from Ritsu fooling around with Mugi's piano<br>- After Ritsu's quits school, Mio transfer to Ritsumeikan University  
>- Isshi (then nameless) picks Mio up and brings her to the karaoke studio for a colleague's birthday<br>- Ritsu works at the karaoke studio, sees Mio in the CCTV, and avoids her  
>- Mugi is more moneybusiness-orientated  
>- Yui is baking her first perfect cake when Mio calls about her marriage<br>- In the final chapter, after Ritsu meets Mugi the floor manager, she meets Yui at the reception table, then meets Azusa who lured her to Mio in the dressing room  
>- Of all the things that changed the most, was Azusa's occupation, she was everything from working at a petshop to a stressed out successful idol<br>- Azusa does not appear in the earliest draft, because I forgot she exists

**Omitted from the final drafts, because they stole too much focus from Ritsu:  
><strong>- Sawako appears but has no speaking role, all she does is a thumb up  
>- Mugi cannot remember any male names, I specifically created a lot of female OC to demonstrate that she has no problem remembering their names, and she calls them on first-name basis with the 'chan' suffix, and she's lesbian<br>- Yui nicknamed her boyfriend like she nicknamed a guitar, he remained nameless all the way, and has one line of dialogue, which is him trying to tell Ritsu his real name, and Yui met him at the music school Azusa is teaching  
>- Azusa is the only member in the band to be playing full-time, Ui and Jun are part-time band members, teaching music is her part-time job, her boyfriend is also nameless, has no speaking role, and plays in the same band, she got scouted by a recording company that is a rival of Kotobuki company, and an explanation why she had a haircut<br>- Nodoka has a speaking role

**The end.**


End file.
